Sorry my international friends, I decide to come back writing in Portuguese. Is my language, so it will be easier to keep sharing my thoughts and feelings... Thank you all 😊

1 month

I arrived 1 month ago!!!!

Yesterday I was feeling terrible... lost... with any hope... I decided go sleep after lunch...
Even that, it didn't help... I decided go to Liberty Station, and meditate for a while... It was good! That help me a little. It didn't change completely my mood, but help me.
When I arrived home, I ate a whole bottle of Butterfinger Ice cream... Yes, it's true... and C rent a Night in the Museum 3 :)
It was really nice!!!
Thank you C!!!!

Today I decided to change my routine! I went to Better Buzz as usually, but just to drink coffee and after that, I left! I went for 1 hour walking, I did some yoga, and I wiped a little the house!

Yes, I'm really lucky!!! I met C, he's a luso-american, and gave me his office room in his home, where I'm staying for free! That's a huge help, trust me!!!

I have to keep Faith, but is not a easy way this one I choose.

I already found other plans, B and C... I will talk about them at some point.

Let's see what happen in the next days!

Hugs and love.

MAR

I decided to come here because of the weather... As McNamara says, " Portugal has similar weather to California, water temperature, but best waves..." I agree! Has a great weather, but small waves... 

And because of lifestyle. I love it! 

But cost of living is high... California is the most expensive state from US. They paid for the good weather. Rain is rare around here...

Point Loma and OB is a great place... 

Newport Av is great... Voltaire also is great ... You can see almost everything.

 There's a Dog beach

People hanging out... Acrobatic Yoga and other activities 

Voltaire St

Ocean Beach

 Parrots all around ;)

Newport Av

OB

My 1st week I stayed in a hostel in Downtown. Not a good choice, but in my 2nd week, finally went to another hostel, HI in Point Loma, which is a fantastic hostel 

Delicious breakfast 

The window of my room :D

My view :)

And is enough for today...

I just started, so... Maybe 

Hugs

MAR

Challenged

I began writing in portuguese, because, of course, is easier for me, but today, by suggestion of a friend of mine, Tuxinha, and because I have friends who won't understand portuguese, I decided to write for everyone.
So I apologize for my bumping english...

I explained before, that I took a major decision earlier this year... It wasn't an easy one, but I felt from the back of my soul that I should do something before turn 38.
I needed to get out of my comfort zone.

This blog is to help me, hoping also that can help someone.

I'm not perfect, I'm just trying always to become better, growing up as human being.

But I has not said where I started this path that I just began...

I came to Ocean Beach/Point Loma, in San Diego, California :)

It is an amazing place to be, for sure!

Have amazing sunsets... I am absolute in love for it!!!

Don't you think that is been easy, and I feel happy all the time... I feel blessed, it's true, because I realize learning I set out, but it's scary, and sometimes I think... "I'm crazy, what have I done?, What I'm doing?"
But now I just have to keep going, persisting, having Faith, being resilient... Understanding what will be my next step... Would I stay here, go back to Europe? I still haven't decided.

I've been really blessed by the fantastic people I have known since I arrived... Carolyn, Carol, Celina, Erica, Mary, Margie, Denver, Julius... Carol knew me only a week ago when she decided to lend me her car while she went to Costa Rica spend a week with her daughter!!!! And I have to thank to portuguese community... And the most beautiful sunsets I ever seen.

People are really friendly, easygoing, laid back... And that's really good...
We have everything here, freaks, drugs... Pot is legal around here... I don't smoke, so...
Yesterdsay we saw really weird people... meths... Sad...
But we also have a great healthy way to live, organic food, sports... Great weather...

When we are far away from home, and I did it big, we realized small things.
I knew I have really good friends, people who cares about me... My sister and brother in law... The love I feel about my son...

I arrived with many dreams, expecting to find a fast job and a place to stay... 

I really risk everything... 

Almost 1 month later I have to be realistic, and rational... Maybe is not the right place for me... just because is not Europe! 

I love Portugal, and makes me sad that the conditions are so poor... 

My last job, not related with my studies, of course, I was earning 2,50€/hour!!!! How can someone alone, with a son could possible live with that????

I have already some crazy episodes... I'll write about them ;)

"Is not a failure, is progressing", a new friend of mine told me! 

 I met a punch of great people around here, some of them with same expectations and purposes. 

Sorry, my friends about my english... feel free to correct me ;)

I'll write about this decision, and the adventures I'd live already, but also, I'll write about subjects more sensitives... At time. 

This quote bumped me, at my first day in OB (Ocean Beach)

I could easily be happy in OB :)

This where I like to have my coffee, great one, by the way, and where I write and apply to jobs...

Hugs to everyone

MAR

A decisão

Finalmente resolvi começar a escrever... Obrigada minha Coquinhas <3

Já muitos anos que queria fazer isto. Isto de escrever e o que estou a fazer.

Quando ainda estudava no IO, queria parar 1 ano e viajar pelos EUA, apenas a trabalhar o suficiente para me manter e viajar pelos vários Estados! Vida simples e desapegada. Era o que eu queria!
Isso não aconteceu...
Aconteceu ter de seguir para a faculdade. Os encantamentos pelos homens menos ideais... Aconteceu não querer largar o meu Avô... Aconteceu o meu filho... os homens da minha vida: O meu Avô e o meu Filho!!!

Mas tudo tem o seu tempo, e agora com 37 anos, após tantas e tantas pancadas repetidas, resolvi fazer o que "sempre" quis!
O ano passado já havia decidido, mas um facto marcante na nossa vida, do meu filho e na minha, fez-me decidir adiar. e por uns meses até voltei a desistir.
Mas no início deste ano de 2015, comecei a sentir-me tão infeliz que senti, o que há muito sentia: era URGENTE fazer alguma coisa antes dos 38, antes dos 40!
Sempre tive dois lados, não fosse eu ser Gémeos (Sol)... Um queria o "pacote" dito normal: casar, ter filhos, ter uma vida familiar... O outro lado, o lado do Aquário (meu Ascendente e Lua), quer ter uma relação com um homem com características muito particulares, ser independente... etc... Mas isso agora não interessa nada.

As mudanças começaram a acontecer ainda em 2014... Decidi deixar o Cartaxo e voltar para Lisboa. Também esta decisão foi tardia... Já a deveria ter praticado... ou não ;)

O certo é que este início de ano, estava tão infeliz... outra vez... que partilhei, como sempre, com o meu filho que queria sair do país... não queria chegar aos 60 e dizer "E SE...". Viver de "NUNCAS", NÃO!

Como o meu filho já estava a morar com a avó desde Agosto, percebeu e muito adulto disse-me: "Tudo bem mãe, vai! Eu já sabia que querias isso há muito tempo! Eu compreendo. Tu estás a dizer-me, não vais desaparecer, por isso, vai"

Vendi o meu carro, paguei os inúmeros compromissos em Portugal, e num mês e meio vim!

"If you don't risk everything, you don't risk anything"

Beijinhos e abraços,

MAR